“The truth is everyone is going to hurt you. You just need to find the ones worth suffering for.”
The longer you know someone, the more baggage you have with them.
The beginnings are so shiny and new. And then people, no matter how kind or loving they are, mess up. Because people aren’t perfect. And eventually they’ll do something on purpose (or more likely not) that hurts you, and that hurt builds up until those relationships lose their shine.
They’re real. They’re worn in. They have tears in them, both the saltwater kind and the ripped apart kind.
That’s when I guess you decide if you want to fight or quit. If the struggle is worth it, or if its better to walk away. If that person is someone worth suffering for.
Sometimes the truth is that they’re not. That the work you have to put in is just not worth the struggle. Or, more painfully, when no matter how much you love them, you realize they just don’t have a place in your life anymore.
But when you realize that they are worth it? Then that’s the hard part. Because that’s when you’ve got to put away the pride, the ego and the bitterness and remember how much you love them. You realize forgiveness is necessary because if you hold onto old angers, old hurt, you’ll damage the relationship, or lose that person, and being right (or superior or the victim) is just not worth that loss.
So you buck up and are honest. You listen, and work on what you can. You love, and maybe sometimes you suffer.
That relationship won’t ever be shiny or new again. It will be all lumpy with scars and full of memories; some of them painful, some of the beautiful. There will be buttons that you know you can push, but don’t. There will be grudges that you can bring up, but don’t. There will be anger that you know you can hold on to, but (I think you know where I’m going with this) don’t.
And then that relationship becomes better than ever before. Because it’s old and full of history. Because you’ve fought for it, and won. And most importantly, because it’s real.
It’s like going from two teenagers in love, driven by their hormones swearing that they’ll be together forever, to becoming two ninety year olds, wrinkled and pruned, holding hands in the park, bickering and then kissing, safe in the knowledge that they did it: that they are together forever.
And that… That, is worth suffering for.